by 
Song: Antisocial Media
Singer: Gabbie Hanna
Label: Unknown
Release date: Sep 10, 2020
I Climbed Out Of My Head And Watched Myself Implode Lyrics
Overwhelmed, overworked, overpaid
I’m on top of the world sitting pretty on a stack
But the static still cracks in my veins
At the bottom of the universe
I’m feeling all the weight
Translation: Abhibhoot (overwhelmed), zyada kaam (overworked), zyada paisa (overpaid)
Main duniya ke top par hoon, ek stack (paise ki dher) par baitha hoon
Par phir bhi wo static (shor) meri nason mein machalta hai
Is duniya ke niche (bottom) par
Main saara bojh mehsoos kar raha hoon
People die for this, people lie for this
People suck and fuck some guy for this
Pay the toll for this, sell their soul for this
Play my part, but what’s my role in this?
Translation: Log iske liye marte hain, log iske liye jhooth bolte hain
Log iske liye kisi ko chuste hain aur chodte hain
Iske liye tax (keemat) dete hain, iske liye apni rooh bech dete hain
Main apna part (role) nibhata hoon, par isme mera role (bhumika) kya hai?
I’m not built for this, all the guilt of this
And I don’t think I can deal with this
I’m too old for this, gonna fold from this
People starvin’ and I get gold for this?
Translation: Main iske liye bana nahi hoon, iska saara apradh (guilt)
Aur mujhe nahi lagta main isse jhel sakta hoon
Main iske liye bahut budha hoon, isse haarne wala hoon
Log bhookhe marte hain aur mujhe iske liye sona (gold) milta hai?
You all chalk me up as some whiney fuck
Who’s stressed by success like my life sucks?
I get it, I know, it’s such a conundrum
I get what I want but I can’t have much fun with it
Translation: Tum sab mujhe ek rone wale insaan ke roop mein dekhte ho
Jo success se stress mein hai jaise meri zindagi bekar hai?
Main samajhta hoon, mujhe pata hai, yeh ek uljhan (conundrum) hai
Mujhe wo milta hai jo main chahta hoon par main usse maza nahi le sakta
It’s not the fame or the money I’m yearnin’
I don’t give a fuck about what I’ve been earnin’
But each day I wake up more blessed and I’m learnin’
Of all of these people, I’m least to deserve it
Translation: Main fame (shohrat) ya paison ki kami nahi kar raha
Mujhe is baat ki koi parwah nahi ki main kya kama raha hoon
Par har din main aur zyada blessed (dhanya) uthhta hoon aur seekh raha hoon
In sab logon mein, main sabse kam iske layak hoon
I don’t deserve it, I try to be perfect
I’ll never be perfect, I’m not worth it
Keep lookin’ for answers I swear I’ve been searchin’
Translation: Main iske layak nahi hoon, main perfect (sampurn) banne ki koshish karta hoon
Main kabhi perfect nahi ban sakta, main iske layak nahi hoon
Jawaab dhundhta raho, main kasam khata hoon main khoj raha hoon
But come up short, and I give up quick
‘Cause if I found it I think I’d be scared of it
You don’t see the scene that’s behind the screen
And I urge you all to beware of it
Translation: Par main kam pad jaata hoon, aur jaldi haar maan leta hoon
Kyunki agar main yeh pa leta toh mujhe lagta hai mujhe dar lagta
Tum screen (parde) ke peeche ka scene nahi dekhte
Aur main tum sab ko isse savdhan (beware) rehne ke liye kehta hoon
It’s an interesting dichotomy of monetized sincerity
Stir up my insecurity with constant uncertainty
Generation of anxiety, the “Look at me” Society
Dubiety of piety, the gods all suffer silently
I’m sorry for my obsession with attention
Translation: Yeh ek interesting dichotomy (do bhagon mein bata) hai monetized sincerity (paisa-wali imaandari) ki
Meri insecurity (asuraksha) ko hamesha uncertainty (aniśchitata) se hilata hai
Anxiety (chinta) ki generation, “Look at me” Society (dekho mujhe samaaj)
Piety (bhakti) ki dubiety (sandeh), sab devta chupchap dukh jhelte hain
Main apni attention (dhyaan) ki obsession (deewangi) ke liye maafi chahta hoon
I have ungodly fear of rejection
My apprehension and objection is the viral infection
Of dollars and followers in place of affection
What I need is a human connection
Not blue light and a foggy reflection
Of my misconception of my own perception
A result of way too much introspection
Translation: Mujhe rejection (asvikar) ka bahut dar hai
Meri apprehension (ashanka) aur objection (aapatti) ek viral infection hai
Dollars (paise) aur followers (anuyayi) ka pyaar ki jagah
Mujhe kya chahiye ek human connection (insani rishta)
Neela light (screen) aur dhundhla reflection (pratibimb) nahi
Meri apni perception (dharna) ki misconception (galatfahmi) ka
Bahut zyada introspection (aatm-nirikshan) ka natija
They find my disinterest interesting
My depression, a funny thing
My decline is relatable
People love that I hate myself
Translation: Unhe meri disinterest (udasinata) interesting (dilchasp) lagti hai
Mera depression (avsaad), ek funny (mazaak) cheez
Mera decline (patan) relatable (sambandhit) hai
Logon ko pasand hai ki main khud se nafrat karta hoon
People love that I hate myself
Yeah, they love that I hate myself
People love that I hate myself
People love that I hate myself
Translation: Logon ko pasand hai ki main khud se nafrat karta hoon
Haan, unhe pasand hai ki main khud se nafrat karta hoon
Logon ko pasand hai ki main khud se nafrat karta hoon
Logon ko pasand hai ki main khud se nafrat karta hoon
I climbed out of my head and watched myself implode
A thought without a body ought to be a shot to take a load off
My brain is poisoned and I’m searching for the antidote
But every time I find it, my defenses scream, “Oh, no you don’t!”
Woah, But it’s fine, no, really I’m fine
Translation: Main apne dimaag se bahar nikla aur apne aap ko phatte dekha
Bina shareer ke ek vichaar (thought) ek shot hona chahiye bojh utaarne ke liye
Mera dimaag zeher (poison) ho gaya hai aur main antidote (zeher ki dawa) dhundh raha hoon
Par har baar jab main paata hoon, meri defenses (suraksha) chillati hain, “Oh, no you don’t!” (nahi, tum nahi karoge!)
Woah, Par yeh theek hai, nahi, sach mein main theek hoon
It’s just a matter of time, you’ll cross the line
And lose your mind from time to time
I’m not crazy but I feel crazy all of a sudden
In a city never seeing, snow or rain or leaves in autumn
Lose yourself in seasons, not rememberin’ that you forgot ’em
Knocking on my door, I can’t confront ’em so I lock ’em out
Translation: Yeh sirf waqt ki baat hai, tum seema paar karoge
Aur kabhi kabhi apna dimaag kho doge
Main paagal nahi hoon par main achaanak paagal mehsoos kar raha hoon
Ek shehar mein kabhi snow, rain (baarish) ya autumn (patjhad) ke patte nahi dekhte
Mausamon mein khud ko kho do, yeh yaad nahi ki tumne unhe bhool diya
Mere darwaaze par dastak, main unhe saamna nahi kar sakta toh main unhe bahar lock kar deta hoon
But I don’t mind, no, I really don’t mind (I really don’t mind)
‘Cause, believe it or not, it feels good to be forgot
From time to time (Forgot from time to time)
So, forget me, and please, God, forgive me
If you feel a touched underwhelmed
By all my overwhelming negativity (Negativity)
Translation: Par mujhe koi aitraaz nahi, nahi, sach mein mujhe koi aitraaz nahi (Mujhe sach mein koi aitraaz nahi)
Kyunki, maano ya na maano, bhoola diya jaana achha lagta hai
Kabhi kabhi (Kabhi kabhi bhoola diya jaana)
Toh, mujhe bhool jao, aur kripya, Bhagwan, mujhe maaf kar do
Agar tum thoda underwhelmed (nirash) mehsoos karte ho
Meri saari overwhelming negativity (zyada negativity) se (Negativity)
Who am I and when?
When’s my workday end?
And where does “me” begin?
Are these my colleagues or my friends?
On a scale from ten to one
Do you hate who I’ve become?
‘Cause I hate who I’ve become
Translation: Main kaun hoon aur kab?
Mera kaam ka din kab khatam hota hai?
Aur “main” kahan se shuru hota hoon?
Kya yeh mere colleagues (sahkarami) hain ya mere dost?
Das se ek ke paimane par
Kya tum nafrat karte ho ki main kya ban gaya hoon?
Kyunki main nafrat karta hoon ki main kya ban gaya hoon
